Stories

Preparing for Vietnam: The 2 Sides Project 2024 Trip Participants Share Their Pre-Trip Excitement

Margot: Do you all have any expectations about the trip?

Mike Walling: Truly, my expectations are to just go and embrace and enjoy. The highlights would be visiting our sites and having closure, and I look forward to interacting with the Vietnamese sons and daughters. 

Dina Walling: I am beside myself with excitement about every minute of it. All the sites, the sounds, every aspect of it. Obviously I'm really excited to see all your dads’ sites. I’m thrilled to be able to have closure for them. It's like full circle from when I first came into the family. I remember one of the first conversations we had when we first started dating at age 17. Mike told me the whole story about his Dad and I was flabbergasted. I mean, I obviously knew about Vietnam, but I'd never had met anyone that lost a parent during the war or even a parent so recently. I thought a lot about what his mother had been through and his Dad's family. It always shook me and obviously still does. To see him and his brother Jeff be able to have this Moment, I don't even know what to say. It's so special.

Lisa Walling: It’s so interesting. Our son went to DC with Jeff in 2005, the year that Jeff and Mike’s mother died, and that's when they met Doug. They also had a meeting with DPAA and Jeff came back saying he’d met with an officer who said they had seen a site that they wanted to go in and go back to and excavate. It wasn’t until 2010 when they finally were able to go back in, and they got a call in 2011 that they had found their father’s remains. So talk about going full circle. Here we are together, going to Vietnam. It's insane. And to engage with the Vietnamese. That’s one of the things I'm most excited about.

Jeff Walling: Beyond hearing your stories, I'm looking forward to seeing what my father experienced in Vietnam. We know what he experienced living in Arizona because we live in Arizona, but we don't know what he experienced while he was in Vietnam. So I think going back there and walking in his footsteps and going to those places and experiencing the humidity, the jungle, the beach, those elements will really give us more understanding of who he was and he was doing and how he must have felt. I'm excited to feel that. People ask me why I want to go to the crash site. I guess it's just closure, right? It's actually something I've always wanted to do my entire life. It was something I never expected to be able to do.

Doug Godfrey: I've been thinking about and wanting to go too, but in the back of my mind thinking that'll probably never happen. You guys use the word closure. It's not closure for me. My life is complete without going. It's just I'm just looking forward to experiencing it. If I never got to do it, I'd be fine, but I think it's going to enhance my life. 

Margot: Do you think that ambivalence is in part because your dad hasn't been found?

Doug: It wouldn't really matter if he’s found or not. But to me the coolest part is doing it with you guys.

Dina: Let’s turn the tables. What are your emotions, what are you looking forward to Margot?

Margot: Ever since I started the 2 Sides Project, my mission has been to bring people to that hallowed ground and to have them get a better understanding of the Vietnamese side, to get rid of any assumptions or antipathy or hate. I felt all those emotions throughout my life, and now it’s gone because I talked to and listened to Vietnamese sons and daughters. I hope to be a good group chaperone, too. Not just through the heavy, war-related sites or the emotional two sides meetings, but to the fun ones too, like places to get a two hour massage for $20, or going to a temple, or eating amazing food. Maybe it’s not what our fathers experienced, but it will be healing for all of us, on both sides. 

The U.S. Peace Institute engages in research and dialogue examining U.S.-Vietnam relations, and is in the midst of a multiyear project to foster public education and dialogue among Vietnamese and Americans. The 2 Sides Project was honored to participate in its 1.5 day event in October 2022, the first in a “planned series of annual in person dialogues bringing together partners and participants concerned with multiple war legacy issues and U.S. relations with Vietnam and its Southeast Asian neighbors.” Participants on the main stage from USAID, the HCMC Peace and Development Foundation and the US Department of Defense talked about healing from the wounds
of war, while other breakout panels with the National League of POW/MIA Families, VUFO and the DPAA explored cooperative initiatives among US and Vietnamese veterans and families.

The latest 2 Sides Project Peace Home was officially handed over in September 2022 to its new owner, Ms. Mai, in a ceremony in the Cu Chi district. This home was donated by Jill Hubbs in loving memory of her parents, Bereth Hubbs, Jill’’s mother, and her father, Commander Donald Richard Hubbs, a pilot in the U.S. Navy who went missing in action on March 17, 1968 over the Gulf of Tonkin. Ms. Mai’s was a new kind of home, a partial rebuild of an existing house for a North Vietnamese veteran who was injured during the war and always struggled to make ends meet. With her children far away and her husband gone, Ms. Mai needed a safe and sound place to live. Now she has a new one bedroom home, equipped with a brand new stove, dining room table and fans to keep her cool, all provided by donations to the 2 Sides Project and by the local veterans who support
Ms. Mai today.

During the Vietnam War, the Ca Lu combat base was spread over a series of rolling hills near Route 9, close to Khe Sanh. On February 14, 1968, Navy Hospital Corpsman Larry Jo Goss was killed during a fierce attack by the North Vietnamese near the base on what today is known as Valentine’s Ridge. In December 2018, and again in 2019, on what would have been her father's 73rd birthday, Lori Goss Reaves visited the area with her son Casey to honor her father’s service and memory. That day she also met Ms. Hieu, who lives in the area. Lori was so moved by her situation that she decided to build a Peace Home for them in honor of her father. She was determined but overwhelmed. The area is remote and the construction cost -- $4500 -- double that of other homes we’ve built. Lori didn’t love the idea of asking for money. But she didn’t have to worry. People who knew her father and revered her family, and teachers who remembered her as a child, were some of those moved to contribute to build a home for a needy family. The home was completed in 2021 and officially handed over to Ms. Hieu.

We’re getting very close to fully funding our 7th Peace Home, initiated by Jill Hubbs, thanks to people like Tom Keating. Tom is the author of “Yesterday’s Soldier, A Passage from Prayer to the Vietnam War,” a different kind of war story that recounts his journey from Infantry Officer Candidate
(OCS) to conscientious objector. Tom has regularly donated to the 2 Sides Project over the years “because as a Vietnam Veteran who witnessed firsthand the destruction we caused, this is a way to help the Vietnamese people.” We’re grateful Tom for you and for all the others who are making peace a priority, and a reality!

Jill Hubbs’ mother, Bereth Hubbs, would have turned 100 years old today. Bereth had a lifelong passion for education and wanted to be a teacher. She finished one year of college away from home, but without enough resources to finish, and very homesick, she returned to Pensacola to take care of her widowed mother.

Bereth raised Jill in a home where school and studies were a focus, and what an impact she made! Jill graduated from college with degrees in elementary and early childhood education and taught school for 15 years. She was later appointed Director of Educational Services and Outreach at PBS affiliate WSRE, where today she is the general manager.

Education -- and her mom -- are still very much in Jill’s heart. So, what’s the best way to honor a woman who instilled great values and made an impact not just on Jill, but in all the lives Jill has touched since? With an education-focused Peace Home!

Starting today, on Bereth’s birthday, Jill is raising funds to build a Peace Home for a teacher in need in the area near the Gulf of Tonkin where her father, Commander Donald Richard Hubbs, a pilot in the U.S. Navy, went missing in action on March 17, 1968. Jill also hopes to offer school supplies and resources to an area school.

The 2 Sides Project is working with our partners in Vietnam, the Vietnam USA Society, to help us find the greatest need in the area. Our goal is to raise at least $2,500, the average cost for a peace home in Vietnam. Ready to help? Donate at https://www.2sidesproject.com/donate, and specify your donation is going to the Hubbs Peace Home.

Thank you for any and all contributions! We’ll update you as we identify a teacher in need, and a groundbreaking is scheduled.

Before and after: The home of Ms. Thach Thi Huong and her family was in bad condition, and they didn’t have the resources to repair or replace it. The family, which has three people with disabilities. needed help. Fast forward a couple of months and thanks to the generosity of Stephanie McLellan-Reyes, Ron Reyes and many of you supporting the 2 Sides Project, the family now has a new place to live! Thank you all for your incredible support for this Peace Home in Bac Lieu.

I had the great honor to meet Daryl Davis and Scott Shepherd at the premiere of their documentary Accidental Courtesy at SXSW. These are two men who were on opposite sides, but they sat down to talk, and to listen, and that made all the difference. https://www.nytimes.com/.../racism-politics-daryl-davis...

After several months of delays due to flooding, Covid complications and more, we’re excited that construction on THREE Peace Homes begins this week! Stephanie McLellan-Reyes raised funds to build a home for the family of Ms. Thach Thi Huong in Bac Lieu. Construction starts May 18 and will take one month. Ron Reyes raised funds for a home for Mr. Ho Am Pong’s family in the Khe Sanh area and Lori Goss-Reaves raised funds for a home for Ms. Ho Thi Hieu in the area of the Ca Lu combat base. Construction on those two homes starts May 20 and will take two months. All three families are very poor and in need of more stable homes. We are so grateful to our Vietnamese colleagues including Nghi Bui, Yen Tran and Hong Diem Nguyen who worked with the local authorities to find families in greatest need, and to all of you who donated funds to make this possible. We’ll keep you posted on the progress!

We were thrilled this week to virtually present the 2 Sides Project story to students at Catholic Memorial High School outside of Boston. Vincent Bradley teaches a class called “The American War in Vietnam” to juniors and seniors at the school, and opens his classroom to veterans and others with personal experience with the war to share their stories. We’re grateful for teachers like Mr. Bradley who make sure young people hear many sides of the war story.

This is the current home of Mr. Nguyen Van Thoi, who lives in Bac Lieu, Vietnam. Mr. Thoi’s house is made in part from the leaves of local trees. It’s in bad shape, and you can see its sides are damaged beyond repair. But on Monday, March 29, construction will begin on a Peace Home for Mr. Thoi. Spearheaded by Stephanie McLellan-Reyes and Ron Reyes, and funded by donations from so many of you who support the 2 Sides Project (thank you!!), the Peace Home will take about a month and a half to build.

Stephanie chose this location for a Peace Home to honor Francis Xavier Truong Buu Diep, a Vietnamese Catholic priest who served the people of Bạc Liêu Province and was killed on March 12, 1946. March is also a significant time for the Reyes family. Ronald Reyes, Ron’s father, was killed in action on March 30, 1968.

Mr. Thoi’s house is the first Peace Home to be built in 2021. Two more are about to be scheduled. We can't wait to share the progress with you!

Then and now: In December 2018, we planted a Peace Tree in the Martyr’s Cemetery where many of our Vietnamese friends’ family members were laid to rest. Sisters Diem and Que recently visited the cemetery to honor their loved ones, and they sent this picture to show how the tree is flourishing. Peace grows when the seeds are planted!

Happiest of birthdays to Diem, one of the first Vietnamese daughters we met, and one of our longstanding friends. Diem has introduced us to dozens of Vietnamese sons and daughters who lost fathers on the opposite side of the war. She has worked with us to build Peace Homes in Vietnam. And, as an executive with HUFO, a government organization building bridges between Vietnam and other countries, Diem has made it her life work to bring peace to all. We are proud of your work to heal the wounds of war, and honored to call you sister. Chúc mừng sinh nhật!!! Photo courtesy Quinn Ryan Mattingly.

Another Peace Home is fully funded!

A few short months ago, Lori Goss-Reaves (pictured here with her parents) started fundraising to build a Peace Home in the area where her father, Navy Hospital Corpsman Larry Jo Goss, was killed on Valentine’s Day in 1968. She was determined but overwhelmed. The area is remote and the construction cost -- $4500 -- double that of other homes we’ve built. Lori didn’t love the idea of asking for money. But she didn’t have to worry. People who knew her father and revered her family, and teachers who remembered her as a child were some of those moved to contribute to build a home for a needy family. Today we’re overjoyed to say that this home is fully funded, and construction can soon start. Thank you to ALL those who support the 2 Sides Project. Your open hearts made the construction of three Peace Homes possible in 2020 and have already funded the construction of three more in 2021. We may not be able to meet the other side in person just yet, but your support means we can continue our work to heal the wounds of war in new and very effective ways.

We just learned of the passing of HM3 Steve “Doc” Lakernick. If you’ve seen the 2 Sides Project documentary, you know that Patty Young Loew grew up with questions about how her father died in Vietnam. After the 2 Sides Project trip, she reached out to a group on Facebook, and Doc, who served under Patty’s father, responded. He was able to share the details about what happened on March 11, 1969, the day that Jack B. Young was killed. A few years ago Patty and Doc were able to meet in person. We celebrate this wonderful man, for his service, and for bringing healing to Patty and her family.

On this day five years ago, six American sons and daughters who lost fathers in the Vietnam War went to Vietnam.

Two years later, an award-winning film about that experience was launched around the world.

Since then, we’ve hosted Vietnamese visitors in the U.S., journeyed again to Vietnam, met with more than 60 Vietnamese sons and daughters, held more film screenings in the U.S. and Vietnam, been included in university-level curriculum, and celebrated stellar photography at an exhibition. Even in this exceptional year, you have made it possible for us to continue to bring the healing full circle, with the building of three Peace Homes in the An Giang province of Vietnam. Three more homes are largely funded and planned for 2021.

We are grateful to the big hearts at Istrico Productions for being with us on this journey, and for all of you who have supported us these last five years. And we’re grateful to the Vietnamese sons and daughters who are now our brothers and sisters in loss. Each of them received this two-sided medallion, a reminder that there are two sides to every truth, and that healing comes when our ears and our hearts are open to hear them.

On July 27, Martyr’s Day in Vietnam, we’re thinking of
all the Vietnamese sons and daughters we’ve met along
the way, especially the students from the Ly Tu Trong
School in Saigon. They lost fathers, and sometimes
mothers too, on the opposite side of the Vietnam war,
and today they honor their parents’ memory. We wish
their families peace on this important day of remembrance. Portraits of LLT students taken on and around campus
in February by Quinn Ryan Mattingly.

The 2 Sides Project was featured in a four-part article this week in Vietnam’s Bao Tin Tuc newspaper. Timed with the 25th anniversary of the normalization of relations between Vietnam and the United States, the articles give a wonderful overview of the project’s work in the past five years, and more details about the lives of two of the Vietnamese sons and daughters we met and cherish: Mr. Xiem and Ms. Diem. Links to all four articles, which include new photos of Diem and Xiem as well as the Peace homes that were recently built. You can switch to English on any of the articles.

Vietnam’s Bao Tin Tuc newspaper four-article:
Article 1
Article 2
Article 3
Article 4

It was 25 years ago today that Bill Clinton announced
the normalization of diplomatic relations with Vietnam.
Vietnam is now the 13th largest U.S. trading partner and
the top ASEAN exporter to the U.S. Significant U.S.
government funding helps to de-mine and clear the land
of bombs, and provide humanitarian assistance. And in
this new world, the 2 Sides Project is able to work with the Vietnamese government to connect sons and daughters who
lost their fathers on opposite sides of the war. Here’s to
the next 25 years of continued healing, prosperity
and friendship.

These Sandbags protected bunkers at the Khe Sanh Combat base, a key post for U.S. Marines during the Vietnam War and the site of fierce fighting during the Tet Offensive. Ronald Reyes, PFC U.S. Marines, was killed during battle on March, 1968. Today his son Ron Reyes wants to build a peace home for a needy family in the area, and, with his girlfriend Stephanie, a second home south in Stephanie’s hometown of Bac Lieu. Getting a home with all the necessities built in the more mountainous region of Khe Sanh costs $3500, in Bac Lieu its $2800. The two have already raised $2500, and with your help will get to their goal of $6300. If you’re able, please consider making a donation to make these peace homes a reality.

Since we can’t travel, we’re bringing Vietnam to you! This is Saigon Smoke, Nora Kubach. “This photograph happened in the span of 30 seconds. There was a guy selling cigarettes in the markets. I saw a man on a bike reaching into his pocket to get money. He had a cigarette hanging from his mouth, and he went to pay the guy for another pack. I took this while he was waiting for the cigarettes to be handed back to him. He looked at me for a second and I lifted my camera to ask if I could take his picture. He just kind of nodded, and I snapped it. The smoke in the shape of a heart as just a happy accident. When I took the picture I can smell and hear the city on a busy Sunday morning when everyone is out and about, running errands.” Saigon Smoke and more stunning photographs from Vietnam are available in any size here.

This week, the Nguyen Thi Luom and Nguyen Thi Thom families became the first two recipients of Peace Homes in Vietnam. They celebrated with officials from the People’s Committee of Cho Moi District, who helped the 2 Sides Project identify families in need and oversee construction.

Susan Mitchell-Mattera had the idea to build a Peace Home in the area where her father was killed during the war. “At first this seemed like such a big task, but when I told people what I wanted to do, a whole community came together in support. Gold Star children and wives, my church community, family,
and so many friends of the 2 Sides Project all contributed to make not just one but two homes possible. Now we can share
in the joy of seeing these smiling faces. It’s perfect timing with Memorial Day coming. Our fathers would be proud we are turning tragedy into service to others."

The Peace Home initiative continues! Susan expects to complete fundraising for a third home in the An Giang Province this year, and Ron Reyes and Stephanie McLellan are on their way to raising funds needed to build two homes in the central part of Vietnam. We are grateful for your support at https://bit.ly/3cRT2Hx

Nguyen Thi Dao’s first teaching job after the Vietnam/American War was at the Ly Tu Trong (LTT) School, her first assignment a group of students who often screamed uncontrollably and refused to study. On a particularly challenging day, she ran to the school disciplinarian, Tran Trong Duc, for help. When he arrived at the classroom, the students were sitting quietly. Duc glared at Dao, spun around, and left. From then on, he teased her mercilessly. But he also secretly courted her, leaving a small package of che, a Vietnamese sweet dessert, on the ledge near her office every day. With food so scarce, the sweet was a precious treat. Dao eventually discovered the che was from Duc. They became a couple and later married in a ceremony in the school’s library. Over the years, Duc and Dao taught hundreds of students, all children whose fathers, and sometimes mothers, too, were killed fighting for the North Vietnamese. To this day both Dao and Duc are revered by the many men and women they raised. Photo of Dao, who turns 65 today, on the LTT campus courtesy Quinn Ryan Mattingly.

We're officially starting our college chapter! Temple University Television, one of the largest academic stations in the country, will air The 2 Sides Project documentary this summer to more than 55,000 students and faculty, and to Philadelphia area residents via Comcast and Verizon. So exciting to be reaching new audiences with this powerful and inspirational film by the talented team of Anthony Istrico, Nora Kubach, Jared Groneman and Marco Duran and with the support of WSRE and Jill Hubbs!

Today marks the 45th anniversary of the end of the war in Vietnam. Our wish for peace on this day goes to the people
left behind on both sides of this war. Some returned home from the fight forever changed. Others restarted lives in new places. Many were children who bore the scars of loss as they grew up without fathers or mothers. This week also marks the 5th anniversary of The 2 Sides Project's founding. Our hope as we consider the long aftermath of this war is that we can continue to foster understanding and healing, one connection at a time.
Photo credit: Anthony Istrico.

Kim Carlson Benner and I got a chance this week to once again share our personal and 2 Sides Project experience with senior students in Mr. Vincent Bradley's Vietnam War history class at Catholic Memorial Schoolin Boston. This invite means the world to us. We get a chance to help students go beyond the textbook and learn more about the personal impact of war, from both sides. Mr. Bradley is an exceptional teacher who looks for ways to make history come alive for his students, through veterans, children and others with Vietnam experience. We're grateful to have had the chance to help these future leaders understand the true impact of war.

Peace to all from Kim Carlson Benner and Van Thi Kim Cuc, who lost fathers on opposite sides of the Vietnam War. Kim’s father, Captain John Carlson, was killed
when Kim was four years old. Cuc’s father was killed by a bombing when Cuc was
nearly two years old. Both women rarely talked about their fathers as they grew up,
or even as they grew older. Kim says, “As a child, I felt invisible at times. When
people did pay attention to me, it was because they felt pity for me, which made me embarrassed.” Cuc said she wanted to hide her background because she did not want
pity either. And as she worked hard to become a psychiatrist, Cuc did not want people
to think that “the success in my life wasn’t because of my own efforts but because the government had helped my family.” Cuc said she had two wishes after meeting Kim
and other Americans. “That we solve the issues related to Agent Orange, and that all wars stop.”

This man's nickname as a boy was "The Prisoner Without A Number." He is Le Van Trung. His father was killed in October 1967, and four years later his mother was exposed as an enemy. She escaped capture. Trung did not. The five year old was taken
by armed forces to a prison, where he stayed for two years. He was the only child in
the prison, and was so young he could not be issued proper documentation. From
that moment on he was known simply as “The Prisoner Without a Number.” Trung’s mother, who was serving in the army in the jungle, never stopped looking for her son. She wrote a letter to the district officials asking for help. They finally found Trung,
who had moved to the Ly Tu Trong School to be raised with other orphans. In 1975,
he walked hundreds of miles, and was finally reunited with his mother.

On the morning of October 10, 1967, students in the village of An Loc Thuong took their seats in physics class. They were 15 minutes into their studies when a bomb hit the school. In an instant, 33 students and one teacher were killed. Only 15 people survived. Today, we met with five of the survivors. One of them was Mr. Xiem. His father was killed in the war, and he is featured in The 2 Sides Project documentary. He introduced us to his classmate Pham Thi Ngu. Hours after the bombing, rescuers found her alive under a table. Her legs were broken, and her head and back injured. She was 17 years old at the time. Ngu never fully recovered or married, and today still lives in the village just a short distance from the tragedy. We visited the site and planted a tree to honor those who died. War may leave its scars, but new beginnings are ours to make.

Vo Hung Tien grew up with mixed feelings about the American GIs who made camp near his home. They had killed his father, and later one of their bombs injured Tien when it hit near his school and a window shattered, spraying his body with glass. His friends carried him away to get help, and when the GIs saw them, they brought Tien
to the barracks and cleaned his wounds and bandaged him up. From that day on they looked out for him, inviting him to play games, buying him brushes and polish so he could earn money cleaning their shoes, and sending him home with canned food for
his family. One day the Americans led him toward a helicopter. They wanted to give Tien an aerial view of his country. He thought he was being kidnapped. His friends
ran to his mother and told her Tien had been taken away. But Tien returned safely,
with a great story to tell.

During the Vietnam War, Tran Trong Duc and Nguyên Thi Dao were teachers
at a boarding school for “children of war martyrs.” They taught and cared for
hundreds of Vietnamese orphans, some as young as six years old. Over the years
they became so close to the children that they remained in touch with many
students well after the war ended. We met Duc and Dao, along with seven of
the students from the school, in the 2 Sides Project meeting in Saigon. They
have an unbreakable bond that has seen them through loss, and love. Duc and
Dao met at the school and later married, as did 90 couples who were students.

In 2015, the 2 Sides Project went to Hanoi to connect sons and daughters who
lost fathers on both sides of the Vietnam/American War. Six Americans met seven Vietnamese in that first meeting. In 2018 we went back to Hanoi, and more than
double that — 15 Vietnamese sons and daughters— came to meet us. All had lost
a parent in the war. Some had never met an American. One, from the start, grasped
our hands, embraced us warmly, held us close to her side. Her name is Nguyen Thi Luong. We learned her mother was the one who died, She was a kindergarten teacher who was in school one day when a bomb raid began. She rushed the children to
the bomb shelter, and when she went to bring the last child to safety, a bomb hit.
She protected the child with her body and lost her life. In these moments, we are reminded of the power of connection, of shared experience, and of forgiveness, all
of which live in Luong.

What do you remember most from the first 2 Sides Project trip?
I’ve been looking back at all the pictures, all the moments. I will always remember one of the Vietnamese sons, Mr. Xiem, pinning a flower on my dress. It’s a clear plastic flower made by children who are living with defects caused by Agent Orange. He had been very angry in our meeting, and his hands were shaking as he put it on me, but I saw how his anger had softened as we all talked. His action symbolized there was some understanding, not necessarily forgiveness, but an understanding that we are all on the same side, the side for treating others with humanity and kindness. I still have that pin. It’s on my dresser. It’s as valuable to me as any piece of jewelry I’ve been given.

Why are you going back?
I have to. I think there are more connections to be made and more opportunities to help others close that hole in the soul that anyone who lost a father, on either side, knows about. That hole is now filled for me. I’m not saying everyone has to go to Vietnam to fill it, but I’ve seen people go who said they would never go, and come back changed. The question is why wouldn’t people want to grow and change? I can’t imagine being stuck in that timeframe when my father died. I know that the stories we brought back from the first trip helped others. Some can’t go or don’t want to go, but I still think they want to hear the stories.

What was it like growing up without your father?
It made me feel very vulnerable. I seem to remember being scared and afraid, always thinking that someone was going to physically hurt me. I am not sure how common it is for young girls to feel this way, but that's the way I felt all the time. I know I felt sad, like something was always missing.

Looking back, I think I really felt unmoored and adrift, floating alone in the world with no direction. Even though I was very young, I think in some way I knew I had to keep my sanity if I wanted to survive.

Did people talk to you about the war, given your family’s experience with it?
Not really. At times, I felt invisible, but when people did pay attention to me, it was because they felt pity for me ("that poor girl, her father died in the war") which made me embarrassed. I don't remember feeling particularly proud of my father and his service, or why anyone would even care. I don't even remember telling people about my father's death in Vietnam until much later. Friends of mine from high school recently found out about how my father died and said they had absolutely no idea of my circumstances.

What about in your family? Was it discussed?
I knew our grandparents loved us very much, but I also knew that Grandma would cry about our dad, and I didn't ask about him because I didn't want to make her sad. I wanted to make a connection to him so it would seem obvious that I was his daughter. That’s probably a big reason why I wanted to learn to sail. I knew it was such a passion of his, and was something we could share.

What are you most looking forward to?
I am really looking forward to seeing the Vietnamese friends I met in D.C. I think I am just really starting to appreciate how brave they were to come and visit the Wall. I only hope I can be as gracious, open, friendly and forgiving when I am a visitor to their country.

Knowing that we will all be together again soon is very comforting, and I am looking forward to meeting other Vietnamese sons, daughters and veterans.

I am praying that we can all continue to find peace and forgiveness, both individually and collectively.

The power of art is, well, powerful.
Yes, it is! Art connects us all. It helps us express ourselves when we don’t have the words. It brings out our humanity. It can create real change in the world. I studied theatre in school, and we always talked about why we create, what we want from the audience. I was young and idealistic, but I had a noble idea of the theatre. I loved performing so that I could live as other characters and find empathy in them. I felt it was our job to entertain the audience but also to give them a different way of thinking, or an emotional release of some kind. I’ve always believed art, whether a film or a play, a novel or a painting, should strive for that. The 2 Sides Project film really brought me back to that time when I was creating something with a purpose that brought people together. I could see pieces of myself in everyone’s stories. And I saw the ripple effect of the film on others, and how it changed people’s way of thinking. I’m most proud of that.

What you are most excited for about the trip?
It’s strange to feel so close to a country I have never set foot in. I didn’t grow up with a personal connection to the war or to Vietnam, so I never had an emotional tie to it until the last few years. It feels like such an important part of my life now. I can’t wait to be with you all on your own personal journeys, to meet people on the other side, and to see the beauty of the country in person! As I was working on the film, I couldn’t help but think of Joseph Campbell’s “Hero’s Journey;” you left this country feeling one thing, and through all of the trials came back with a new knowledge about yourself. That is so powerful to watch, and I know there are more emotional journeys to come. I feel so connected to all of you and am glad I will be there to support you and to help people make the connections as best I can. 

You’ve had a challenging year, with the recent passing of your father. Does that change your feelings about going so soon after?
My dad died suddenly, and I’ve had a tough time. I did not expect to go on this trip and feel a sadness of my own. Working on the film was cathartic. Like many people, my own father/daughter relationship was complicated. From a creative standpoint, I wanted everyone to be able to relate to this story in some way: not only those who were affected by the Vietnam War, but really anyone who has lost a father and feels an emotional void. I wanted to explore in some small way what it means to be a son or a daughter, and to work through your feelings about that. I’m glad my dad was able to see the film and I know he was proud of me and everyone involved. I know you all didn’t have your dads for much of your lives due to the war. I can’t imagine, or compare with your experience. But I do need this trip now. It’s important to start moving forward and healing. The best way to really do that is to get out into the world and live your life, share your story, and realize you’re not alone. I’m grateful to my family and friends for supporting me on my own journey.

What do you hope most for the trip?
I’m glad we’re going to see some hospitals, because after I retire I want to do medical volunteering to help people who need physical therapy services. I want to meet more people who share my experience. I spent years not talking about it. Now I’m trying to make a point to talk about it, to be more open. And I want to meet more Vietnamese people. The last time I went, I hired a scooter and went to the Saigon Zoo. I walked by some school groups and they went dead silent, watching this tall American with long blond hair walk by. This trip has a lot more interaction with the Vietnamese, and I’m looking forward to that.

Vietnam isn’t your only destination this time around. Where else are you going?
I’m starting my journey before everyone else in early November. I’m making the most of the long flights and will visit India and China before heading to Hanoi. And after Vietnam, Bonnie and I are going to visit Japan. When my parents left that country, my mother was pregnant with me. Japan has always been on my bucket list, so I’m really excited to go.